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Saturday, October 20, 2012

Exam or no exam

Here it goes again.

My screwed-up emotions because of exam. I'm constantly thinking about where to go, what to do, which place should we visit and where to go and eat.

Not even worried about the result but am scared if I fail, how people will start thinking why is this girl failing? Not clever enough? Or she is just too dumb? (my bf calls me a "dumbass")

I even snapshot the 2013 calendar and have already decided of places that I want to visit for next year.

How crazy can I be?

Constantly begging my boyfriend, telling him that I don't want to continue sitting for anymore papers. It's okay for him to sit for exam and suffer and it's so NOT OKAY for me to sit for exam and suffer because he will be the breadwinner for the family while I work only to pamper myself. At least I won't be using much of his money, which he repeatedly says NO..

Why why why? Tell me why should I study. Just like I said, I want to work just to earn the money and pamper myself. Your money will be kept to be used for our future, and I won't be using much of yours.

Oowwwhhhhhhh I hate this feeling.. I really hope when the world comes to an end and if I ever survive, ppl can just forget about this professional studies and lets just work and increment and bonus based on experience and hard work while not that stupid exams because I really don't see this exams as the KEY to my success in my company. The only advantage that I see for now is you can sign papers.. Like WTf.. If I work long enough, have enough experience, I can do the same thing. Why must I suffer and do that exam? My brains doesn't get smarter by learning.. I just get more and more tired, more and more white hair, more and more headache, more and more of everything. Most of all more and more SAD.

I'm just being emotional.. Screw my mood.. Can I just pass? Not asking for more than this.. I think I'm willing to eat less salt, less fried stuff to get a pass.. Lets trade k?

Just a pass will make me happy..

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