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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Can I?

Sunday with no sun...
My feeling/emotion is just like the rain...
I'm sad.. moody and just wanna throw everything that is in my mind and go ahead with what i wanna do...
I keep thinking for how others will feel...
And i'm hurting inside now..
I hate it..

Can I just walk out now???
Can I just do it??
Can I???

Out I go.. leaving everything behind other than my cash n keys..

Better inTime



Click on this video on a friends link...
The song means so much....

Talk to a friend for more than 1 hour...
Sometimes we should really learn to think for ourself...
No point thinking for other when they don't think about you..
Do you agree??
No one on earth will like everything about you except for yourself...
We cant be thinking about others for the rest of our life..

Remember that "It'll all get better in time"..& "All I know is I'mma be ok"
So why worry??

*******
I'M MISSING MY BF AGAIN....
The midnight missing him is BACK...

I'm Happy

I'm Happy that grandma's condition is getting better & better
I'm happy that I'm working..
I'm happy every1 is tolerating with each other....
I'm happy that every1 is grateful to each other...
I'm happy that my salary is IN...
I'm happy that I enjoyed my Friday night with my colleagues..
I'm happy that I enjoyed my night, yesterday with my college friends...
I'm happy I'm gonna celebrate Chinese New Year in less than a week..
I'm Happy that I'm working...
I'm happy that my senior are good to me..
I'm happy that my managers are friendly.. especially miss I...
I'm happy that I've got good colleagues to go for lunch together...
I'm happy that my toes are not crying anymore...

I'M JUST SO HAPPY WITH MY CURRENT LIFE....
Not regretting....

If I ever say I'm sad, it is because I don't get my 12 hour sleep anymore...
I'm sad that I'm trying to control my food intake...
I'm sad that my office toilet don't have the SQUATTING cubicles...
I'm sad that I gotta walk 15 minute to the office & carpark...
I'm sad that whenever I use formal, I gotta keep pulling my skirt down because it keep raising up..


Somehow, I'm happy that all this sad things are not that SERIOUS...
Because i can still adjust to all this sad things....
Can't get 12 hour sleep, NVM, because I can at least get my 6 hours of sleep...
I can't eat a lot, but I can still eat a little...
No squatting cubicle, but got pipe...
15 minute walk, take it as exercise...
Formal cloths better than no cloths...

So I'm still HAPPY....

Ate Yee Sang for the 2nd time this year...
More yee sang on the way....
More more happy things on the way..
Thank you god...!!!!!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

The only time

Guess the only thing about work that I'm happy about is when I see INCREASED cash in my bank account...
Did so many task today..
But I was fast lar...
Drove out during working hour today...
Huh... Hate the idea of RAIN & TRAFFIC JAM...
Just imagine getting my shoes wet...
urghhhhh.... I love this shoe so muchhhhhhh.....
Was thinking to walk barefoot to the car just to make sure my shoes does not get wet...
Lucky it wasn't raining when I wanted to walk...
Just that the road was wet... Walked damn slow to the car...

Tomorrow morning also must go out...
I love to do things especially when I'm TAUGHT to do the task...
Don't dump the job to me and leave me hanging..
That makes me sad.... =(...

AT LAST.. grandma is home...
she talks more.. but still prefer to use sign language which we don't understand...
She opens her eyes longer now...
Can sit on wheel chair already...
Can eat...
Just waiting for her to do acupuncture to cure her paralyzed area....
Thank you god....
23 years.. You never failed me...
Please never fail me OKAY....
Be with me.. Guide me...


I'm loving all the opportunities that you are giving me..
The best lesson was grandma's....
I was very positive.. we were all positive.. because we know when we are positive, you are there to give us positive feedback...
Grandma is getting better day by day.. but I wish you can speed up the process...
CAN???
PLEASE....

I can't wait to earn RM 10,000...
Then I'll ask you for RM100,000...
After that RM1,00,000...
When lar you gonna give me???

Sunday, January 23, 2011

My prayers (heard)

THANK YOU GOD...
I'm glad that all our prayers are being heard by you....
Grandma is leaving the hospital on Wednesday..
I just hope with all the acupuncture & chinese medication will help her from the stage of half paralyzed..

Grandma did give some reaction on her left foot when we press hard objects on her sole...
I'm just hoping it is her reaction and not the muscle's doing the moving...
(just like after chopping the crab into2 and it's legs still moves)

Urgghhhh.... Having grandma stay in her own house is definitely better because we dunit to be told by nurse to see grandma 2 by 2...HWD ward (half discounted ward, said by my uncle which is NOT the meaning to it)
Which we did not bother to follow and nurses ended up getting fed up and just decided to ignore our presence as long as we do not make too much noise....

Being able to speak Tamil was a very good thing because most of the nurse there were INDIAN's and some was from INDIA...
Getting them to pay extra attention to my grandma's need was easy...
Grandma made sure she asked us to get them roti sardin for them.. (because of their kindness)..
Then my aunty gave them some cakes to eat too....
Yesterday, 1 of the nurse came to my grandma and told her to stop buying food for them saying that they are getting fat.. (just them being kind)...
But my grandma told my mum to cook them chicken curry...
Haha.. My poor grandma....
She's very alert with whats going on around her... but her reactions are kinda slow...

All I'm hoping for is her to be able to get over her paralyze situation and join us for the re-union dinner instead of she eating porridge and we eating solid hard big food...

Her original plan was to come over to my house to have the reunion dinner with us...
But with her condition now, everyone wants to have reunion together.. (humans nature, to only get closer when something goes wrong)...
So we are having it at grandma's place and we are having STEAMBOAT...
Hehe.. my favourite....

Why steamboat?? cz every1 is working and it is the easiest to cook....

Grandma, Thanks for being strong for yourself...
Thank you to all family member to NOT stop taking care of popo...
Thank you to friends and strangers for your kind heart and prayers for my grandma...
Most important, thank you god for NOT giving up on us.. =)

Saturday, January 22, 2011

1st week

My 1st week of work just ended...
I've been assigned to 2 senior and I notice they just love to smile..
No idea why...
Guess my department humans are not that serious I guess( wait till I do something wrong then there comes the lion & lioness)..
Haha

I thought only Auditors get their own laptop..
Bt no.
I got mine too..
I wonder is the office drawers are secured o not...
Wish to just keep it there and not take home because I'll have to walk up & down (carpark & office) for like 15 mnt.
Gosh.... It's tiring...
Most important is must walk slow...
Go early walk slow.. Go late.. run & die...

Now I'm just waiting to get myself a pair of good heels.. No more CHIPLAK brand...
Neway my formal 1 is just great..
No pain.. my toes said thank you to me yesterday...
WHY didn't I thought of that on the 2nd day???
Purposely went to buy a new pair of shoe during lunch, thinking that that pair of shoe could save my toes from crying out loud...
But they did not help much either.. just a little rounder only...

Seniors said killer days start from Monday...
Urghhhh.....
I hope it's not that BAD...
Do I still get to go back at 5.30???

I'm lucky to have 3 other good friends in the same department but different title...
LUNCH TOGETHER??
YEAH...!!!! Dunit to eat lunch alone...
But our peak period is just around the corner....
SO guess gotta stock up my drawers with food in case no1 to teman me makan...
Oats will be the best idea...
No chance of getting spoiled and easy cook....

Hurray.. I'M WORKING NOW....

Went for dinner last night and the bill was RM 50.50...
Mm was like.. WHY SO EXPENSIVE???
The only thing I told mm was.. MA, I'M WORKING....
Haha... it's fun when we have the money power...
Dunit to keep asking for money.. (I'm yet to get my salary)....But I'm already wasting all..

Signing out now.....

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Wow..Auditior, check this out...



Was browsing my facebook link and I saw this link..
OMG.. it's like so true if you are an Auditor..
Haha..

Working

Started work on monday...
Orientation on both Monday and Tuesday...
Got so sleepy listening to everything....
Yeah... can't be talking much about employer..
That is part of the agreement that I must never disclose where im working and talk bad about colleagues..
Yeah... it was 1 of the Q, in the Question and Answer thingy..

Saw my office and desk...
Oh my.. There goes my dream working place...
Was at least expecting something like a big divider from each other and pantry right beside me so that I can  do my own drink and OATS...
Yeah been eating oats quiet frequently.. but guess it shattered my dream when I asked 1 of my colleague where the pantry is...

It's holiday today.. and I'm happy because I got my 12 hour sleep...
Can't be sleeping late on working days..
Just imagine walking 15 minutes from the carpark to the office in the morning, then walk back to the carpark after office hours...
Oh my.. My toes are crying in pain..
Heel heels...
Oh my...

How I wished they said I can just use slippers to work..

On top of that climbed the 272 steps last night...
God, i wanna say thank you...
My grandma is getting better day after days..
Just waiting for her to get out of hospital now....

Off to shopping now..
Buh bye...

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Day 5 in ICU

When we saw the monitor showed 50,49,38,47 up to 46, our heart was really very sad...
The minimum was 50 heart rate...
Grandma's heart should not go lower than 50.. Bt that was her heart beat..
We couldn't do anything...
We just tried to talk to her to increase back her heart rate, because when we talk, her heart rate goes up..

I'm happy today grandma's heart rate is showing good improvement..
it was 50 and above...
The nurse there said that it even went up to 60++...

She's talking.. she's showing good improvement..
Her respiratory on the monitor showed improvement too....
Grandma is starting to cough...
Too much phlegm and we can't do anything but to ask the nurse to suck it out...
Grandma tried to cough it out herself but she just can't cough hard, her ribs hurts...

Cousin even brought few of the mahjong tiles for grandma to feel...
She guessed it correctly and said that "if the doctor see's me holding this, he will think that I'm a gambler"..
Nothing matters now..
Driver caught can never return my grandma's health...
All we WANT now is her to recover fast....

My aunt said that earlier when she was finding for a pendant and accidentally pushed hard on grandma's left shoulder, she said it was PAIN..(her left side body is currently paralyzed.)
I did some massage on her left leg so that her muscle's will not be cramped up...
Chinese traditional doctor said that if her paralyzed body is not massaged for 3 months (no movement), then it will be stiff and then her body cannot be saved...

I want grandma to be her healthy self again....

****************************************************
It was sister's birthday today....
Went to TGIF in garden's and BF insisted that my sister got her birthday brownies...
It was funny looking at how both of them were arguing with the knife...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS...!!!!!!!!

Let's all pray for grandma WANTING her to recover fast...

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Improvement

There is improvement in my grandma's condition...
I'm happy.. But GOD, I'm asking for more..
I want her to wake up, talk, walk and be her happy self like how she used to be..
Not sleep on the bed with her eye closed...

Morning, my uncle smsed and said that grandma opened her eyez..
Doctor said it was a good sign...
Although her left side is paralyzed, she still managed to open both her eyes...

Yesterday my aunt said her left hand was cold..
But today when I held her left hand, her hand was warm...
Good sign.. GOOD SIGN...
Thank you god...
But Iwant more...
Never say no to me...
I know you love her too much too....

But please... do something here..
Do something for her..
For your child...
I'm not asking for her to get any younger.. but I want her to get up and walk n talk like how she used to...
YES.... THIS IS WHAT I WANT...
This is what all of us want.....

It's been 24 hour...
Another 24 hour to go....

May god bless everyone....

Yesterday night when I saw another lady coming into the ICU, and suddenly she was having difficulty...
I was very sad to see that....
Just 20 mnt back when she was brought in, I smiled at her and she smiled back..
I immediately went out and get her family member because they were sitting outside...

I saw some of them was crying... I guess it must be her daughter..
They immediately transferred her to another hospital..
I got no idea why...
Maybe because RM2500 per night is MADNESS...
Trust me... I was like HUH when the admin person came and said that amount..
Kena scolding from my aunty pulak because she wanna talk about my gma's health, dowan talk about money.. haha

Grandma please get well...
We are all her for you...!!!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Wish for MIRACLE

I'm wishing for miracle to happen to my grandma now..
She's still in ICU, but this time is for a different reason...
She is semi-coma now...
Her right brain is swollen and there is blood cloth and I heard something like there is dead tissue in her brain..
Hai.....
There is nothing for us to do now but to only wait for miracle to happen....

24-48 hour from now is critical moment..
Just hope her body can respond to the medication that the doctors are giving...

May all the gods bless her....
Hope it's all a nightmare and tomorrow will be a better day..

Can word like "PARIAH" make you angry??

I would really like to get the book and read it since everyone is making a big HU-HA with this issue...
Can the word pariah really make and indian guy angry???
Interlok..Where can i get you??

I remember my dad said, if you are talking to an indian GUY, never ever use the word pariah because they can get really mad and might even kill you..

To me pariah just means like "ish tak guna betul"....
guess indians dun like to be called tak guna lar..
haha...
The other meaning to pariah can be like OUTDATED....

I do understand why the elderly and the politician making a big issue out of it because they don't want childrens to use and brake the harmony of everyone...
Calling some1 pariah means they are either useless or outdated....

It all up to the certain person to either get angry or laugh at that sentence...
Getting angry is in the blood of an INDIAN...
I get angry too..
Hehe....

Lets assume PARIAH means Pandai OKAY...
So when some1 says "Eh, PARIAH LAR YOU"...
Laugh n say TERIMA KASIH...
Hehe

Let's not spoil our 1 Malaysia concept just because of 1 word..
It was a 1/2 century ago's story..

The star 1
The Star 2

Sunday, January 9, 2011

WGE 9979 owner....

Having said, what has to happen will happen no matter how we avoid it...
Call it karma...
Yeah... I kinda believe in karma..
But I always believe that goodness will be be returned with the same amount and bad things will be returned with the same amount too...

Reacting to a situation will only either make us feel good or bad...
Looking at how everyone is reacting to what has had happened is very shocking...
Everyone has become bad people..
They keep cursing and wishing bad things to happen...

No doubt that I love my grandma and I salute her for how she is still taking things coolly..
All she said was, "when you people find the guy, never ever beat him"
I don't wanna use the word PITY here because no one will ever pity me when I'm in trouble and my grandma do not need us to pity her.. All she need now is our support and someone to stay by her to cope with her condition..

I bet the guy is already scared (if he has already heard about this issue) because we have already contacted the police.. JPJ would have blacklisted him and few gangster guy is finding for him to get him to see my grandma and pay the bills which is gonna cost him around RM20K...

Till today, the owner of WGE 9979 has not made police report...
All we are asking is make the report and let the insurance company to handle it...
No one wants to hurt you...

My grandma strictly told us never to do anything to you...
So please, anyone who know's the owner of this car, please contact him and ask him to go and make the police report....
The accident happened in JINJANG, in front of the YONG TAU FOO stall

My grandma's operation went smoothly...
She's been sleeping in the ICU for 2 days because of her breathing problem..
All the doctor and nurse are very kind to her...
She will be in good shape in 3 months....
This is the proof to my grandma's kindness...

Life is a test...
It's either we pass or fail....
Owner of the car, if you are reading this, just remember that all we want is you to make a police report..
Nothing else.. if you are kind enough just visit her...
I promise, no one will hurt you...
Be responsible for what you have done....

An old lady like my grandma will not want to hurt herself...
Chinese new year is 1 month away..
Her birthday celebration is 1 month away too..
She bought her cloths waiting to use it on that day...
She goes to the market everyday and you stopped her from doing so...
I know you tekan your brek.. but tak cukp makan..
I know, you sending your kids to school is important, but my grandma's health is important too...
RM100 is definitely not enough now.. because she didn't want your money but your hp num which you said NO since you gave her RM100...
People there asked you to send my grandma to the hosp, but you said you were too busy, need to send kids to school...
You left...
You said sorry..
So it was definitely your fault right??

Be a human please..
If it was your mother or grandmother or wife or daughter or your FAMILY member, i think you will react the same way...
Some people said the owner of the car is SAMSENG..
But I just wanna know, don't you wanna be responsible for your act??

Saturday, January 8, 2011

My Grandma

it's been 4 days and 3 night my grandma staying in the hospital..
1st day went it, slept without sitting down.. too pain on her ribs
2nd day tried to lift her upper part of the bed..
3rd day can sit a little with her enduring the pain....
today, went for surgery on her knee cap and is sleeping in the ICU because of her old age...
Doctor scared of complication since she is already 82 years old...

She had difficult breathing after the operation due to the hospital was doing renovation on the same floor of the ICU..
I wonder how can they do that on the ICU floor...
Shift lar.. why put people's life in danger???

I like how the nurse asked...
" wah, banyak orang datang tengok nenek you, tapi patient lain tak ada orang datang tengok"...
What do you expect???
We love her lar....
We made sure there is some1 to stay with her every night except for today because we cannot stay in the ICU room...

I hope she gets well soon...

Salute my grandma lar...
She never complained about her pain..
Pain also she just bite on her teeth...
Never make noise...

If we wanna know if she is in pain, all we gotta do is look at her facial expression..
NO WAY of her saying "PAIN LAR"... hehe....

I remember the 1st day when she was sent to the ward, she told us that her leg was paining and she asked us to help her move her left leg..bend, lift, bend, straight....
I touched her knee cap and felt it was swollen and touched the other knee...
I confirmed that her knee got problem ady..
Told her not to move until the X-ray result is out....
But she sendiri pandai2 move bcz she know that i will not help her to move her leg...

The moment the X-ray result was out.. haha... she stopped moving because she know that it is BAD to move..
Doctor immediately wrapped her leg and put ice pack on her knee...
Today, her knee has already been operated...
Doctor said everything went smoothly..
She was very strong..

I'm happy that she is not giving up on herself..
I know she will never give up on herself..
She wanna live long.. Waiting to see her 5th generation...

Next month, we will be celebrating her birthday grandly..
She even went and got her cloths done...

But this kinda thing gotta happen...
Nevermind... we are still going on with the plan....
and she might be sitting on the wheel chair being pushed around and not walk as how she always did...

I just hope the guy who knocked her can be responsible of what he has done...
Do not ever2 run away from responsibilities..

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Life cannot be bought

Looking after my grandma in the hospital is not an easy task..
Okay, generally taking care of any1 except for a baby is kinda hard...
Why??
Because they are adults.. and being adult, we always fell shy...

A baby never know what is shy... right???
So tell me, a baby or an adult is easier to be taken care off???

4 rib bone broken, crack on pelvic bone.. dislocated knee cap which needs surgery...
Screw the driver who was so inconsiderate...
Although people around there asked him to take my grandma to the hospital, but all he did was give my grandma RM100 and said he was busy (sending his kids to school) and left...

Too bad, he is in big trouble now....
My uncle made police report and DANG..!!!! now he is gonna be in big big trouble with the police...
He gotta pay for the hospital bills and there goes his RM100.. NOT ENOUGH..!!!

**Drivers, use your signals wisely, make sure you know where you wanna go, and never make fast turnings because you may not be aware of others crossing the road...
100% alert....
Life cannot be given back if it's gone...
My grandma is lucky that she is still alive....

What have to happen, has already happened, but please be responsible for what you do..
Don't run away from responsibilities...or we will be like the driver who is gonna be in big trouble...
Money cannot buy life...

Adios...

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year..!!!

It's New year....
Happy New Year everyone....
May 2011 be a good year to everyone..
If it's bad, just wait for the year after okay???

all my 23 years has never been BAD..
Not that bad even if it's bad....
Every year have been an exam year..
Not forgetting this year.. exams coming too....
Guess i gotta wait until 30 to STOP this exam shyts...

Till then it's all about learning & learning..
Even after that will still be all about learning....
Learning to be a good daughter to my parent...
Learning to be a good gf to my bf...
Learning to be a good wife to my husband when i get married...
Learning to be a good daughter in-law to my in-laws..
Learning to be a mother...
Learning to be a good employer to my company..
Learning to be a good employee( if god is good enough to let me start my own business)
Life is all about learning to be the best.. to do good....

Till today i know i have not been bad to anyone..
Never thought bad about any1....
So lets just hope for the best....

Went over to Winnie's house for BBQ & Steamboat yesterday...
Was suppose to be in the temple but mum said after the 1st session, (4pm-6pm), we can cabut..Cz dad was doing the fire prayers in the temple, & it's good for us to be there too, Get good blessings 1st...
Immediately called uncle to fetch me on the way so that i dunit to drive back home alone....

After eating, decided to go up hill to see a very beautiful house but was stopped by the guard...
Same taman also cannot masuk....
Haih....

5 person in a kancil was already packed...
Just imagine having 6 person after that...
Haha... Lucky i was the fattest among the others, so i had to sit in front...
Drove down hill and there was POLICE BLOCK...
Haha..Lucky didn't kena stop...

Cars parked on left & right of the road just to see fireworks...
We saw KLCC... I think theirs was to best...
Then there was Times Square & others too....

Only reached home at 2am....
I guess 1st time coming home this EARLY...
Next year will come home earlier...
haha... as in 5am.. hehe

HAPPY NEW YEAR..!!!!

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