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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

You belong with me

MiMi my sweetheart has left us today morning..
She survived breast cancer for 8 months and now she is gone...
Last night i slept around 1 am and when i called her, she did not want to look at me..
I called her twice...
But knowing she is always tired and sleeping, i did not bother to call her again..
I saw her still breathing.. so I just left it...


Went to sleep like normal and there at 8 am.. Mum opened my room door and dashed in...
The only thought i had was, she's calling my sis to get up to go to work( she was on holiday and was sleeping)
Damn...All my mum said was " wake up, MiMi died"....
OMG.. the only feeling i had was "DAMN"....
I really did not expect her to leave me just like that...
I came running out and there, she was dead in front of my room next to the toilet...
She died in a very good position....
She was starting to get cold when i touched her...
Thank you to MiMi's good soul and god...
She choosed morning and she choosed a PUBLIC HOLIDAY...


I've got no idea why when i got up at 6 am to visit the washroom, i did not glance at her because that is what i normally do...
I will on the light just to see if she is breathing o not...


I hate it.. I hate it...
I hate it that there is no more XIAO MIMI for me to call out when i get up from my sleep...
There is no MiMi for me to look out for....
I used to look for her either infront of my toilet, down the table or in the kitchen...
But no more....
No matter where i find, i will never see her...
Can you see her wound?? (on her tummy where her breast is)

31st August will forever be remember as MiMi's day....
MiMi trying to Manja with my bro (he took the shot)

Only last week, I went shopping to buy her treats..
And i think i bought more than 6 packets...
The pills and treats that was not consumed was thrown away...
This is how she looked like when she died.. but with her eye half close and tongue out


We cremated her...
Took her to the crematorium... 
Did all the rituals and things for her...
I could not take it seeing her get burnt...
We did it the traditional way...
Where they put the woods and burn...

** No photo's was taken when she died

MiMi... My 13 year old dog...
I love you...!!!!
You will be missed badly....

Dad said no dogs allowed in the house for a year...
Understandable... Her soul will be around...

Tomorrow going to take her ash to let go in the sea...
MiMi, I know you've never gone out of the house... (no where far from the house)
So please do not get lost on your way.. follow your heart and go to god..
They will take care of you....

Knowing that i will never see you anymore makes me cry....
I LOVE YOU...!!!! I MISS YOU...!!!!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

MR.B

Mr.B.. you better watch out...
I will punch you if you talk too much...
I will pinch you if you talk too much...
I will slap you if you talk too much...
I might even send you to hell if you talk too much....

Haha...B, i love you too much.. you are the best, honest friend on earth...
I will never trade you with anyone one.....
Having you as my friend is the best thing on earth...

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GOD,
can you tell me what have you got in hand for me???

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Watching shows which i will never watch..
but i'm still watching..
Don't ask me why....
Maybe it's nice, maybe it's not nice..
Maybe it's stupid, Maybe it's not...
Maybe it's because of you, maybe it's not...

But all i can say is, i'm watching it because i wanna watch...
No1 can force me to do things which i don't want....

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Just squeezed some orange juice and my hand feel so "water rough"....
Hate it hate it.....
Just cleaned the kitchen.... worst still...
But i think i'm starting to like the idea of becoming a housewife...
haha.. but with a maid....

Monday, August 16, 2010

Unwanted Leave

Unwanted leave's by god makes me feel so bored...
My days are either spent on the bed until late afternoon, then get up and have some mushroom oats..
Then sit in my mums office until 7pm.. eat dinner and then is gods time and move time and sleep time..
Or My bf wakes me up around 10 or 11 and force me to wake up and the rest of the day is spent with him either going out for movie or lepaking together in my mum's office...
How bored can this be??

Holidays are currently a no no because of certain reasons...

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My granduncle was declared dead on Thursday morning...
So we had to attend his funeral on Thursday & Friday night...
It was a Christian Funeral....
This is the 1st time i'm going for a Christian funeral..
All they did on both the nights is talk...
His son had to give a speech...

Just imagine, parents pass away and you gotta sit down to write a speech (i saw him holding a paper)
So being me, just sit and hear lar..
I respect this Christian people..
They hardly cried...

The body left the house on Saturday morning...
Just when they were taking the coffin out...
My eyes started tearing...
Because it reminded me of my grandma and my uncle's funeral...
I hate having this feelings...
I hate the feeling of losing people i care and love in my life..
And the worst is, i know i will never see them anymore.. NEVER...

We got on the bus after walking behind the coffin until the guard house...
Went all the way to the Christian Memorial Park in Semenyih...
It took us 2 hour to reach there and 1/2 hour to finish all the ceremony there..
The family members were very strong...
Although they had tears in their eyes, but it did not flow out...

Unlike the Indians and Chinese..
I remember crying the moment my dad called and told us about my grandma...
And i remember crying the moment she left the house and got to the crematorium for cremation...
Same goes to when my brother called to inform us about my uncle...
Only me and my younger sis was at home.. and the moment my brother told, i started tearing... Couldn't answer my sis immediately...

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I like the way the pastor said....
Don't cry if someone dies...
To us, it is a lost.. but to the person who dies. it is a gain.. Because they see Jesus and Jesus will take care of them....

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When something is taken away from you, there must be a reason...
Just say IT IS OKAY and continue to live...

Crying it part of the process....
So just cry and let it out...

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MiMi... I know you are is serious pain.. but we are not gonna take your life away...
It is not for us to choose your  fate...
Stay strong...
God has his plans for you..
And we will always love you...

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Unexplainable tears

Being able to have food on my table everyday is my happiness..
Like i said, i live to eat.. i don't eat to live..

Bf skipped lunch today so he was very hungry when it was dinner time... he called me and said he want's to go to this specific shop in Lebuh Ampang for dinner...
Me being a good gf definitely took him to where he wants..
So today was his choice and when we reached there.. the shop was so crowded that i asked him to get down 1st to get a place to sit while i go and park the car...

After parking and entering the shop.. Bf was already eating... WTH... didn't even wait for me...
The best part was there was a small boy sitting and eating with him on the suppose to be MY CHAIR..
I can be good and cruel at times.. but i am very patient...
I was thinking to myself who on earth is that boy...
So what i did was walk over, sat beside him and asked him who the boy was...
He said the boy approached him asking for RM2 just to buy bread because he was very hungry... Then instead of just giving him RM2, bf decided to ask the boy to follow him into the shop to have dinner together... Just when he told me that, Me being a sensitive, very emotional human started wetting my eyes.. (not my face).. Haha.. eh, makan shop lar.. mana boleh cry...

After eating, bf took the boy to the nearby 7-11 and got him few buns and dutch lady milk...
The boy stays somewhere there and according to the boy, his mother comes home late...

My bf too good right???
So i should be lucky to have him...

Got into the car, i asked my bf why he did that??? Why he bought him dinner instead of just giving him RM 2 and finish it off there...
He said, "I'm having food everyday on the table..at least knowing that the kuchi rat will have food tomorrow morning makes me feel good and i can sleep peacefully tonight"

Now tell me.. how can i not tear??
Knowing that i will not have to suffer for food tomorrow just like that boy... and knowing that my bf is a good MAN... and has this humanitarian feeling makes me feel GREAT...
At least i know i got the best bf..

Thursday, August 12, 2010

MiMi my sweetheart

MiMi is my house dog...
She's been with us since I was 10.. and now i am 23...
So 13 years...
And now her breast cancer is confirmed ..

One of her breast BURST ady.. got a big hole....
Her blood is dripping all around the house
But, MiMi is good enough to lick away all her blood....

She refuse to follow us... Because last time she used to follow us everywhere we walk to...
Now all she do is lie down.. and lick her wound...

No bandage.. nothing...
Her bone is not straight.. it is slanting towards the left because she is always sleeping on one side..
Her wound is on her right/...


Sometime when i sit with her and talk to her, my tears starts building up..
Hai.... January till now August...8 months and she is still trying her best to be strong...
She cries every night....


Her eye is red at times...
Yesterday around 5.45 morning, she got trapped under the table...
Was making so much of noise and had to wake me up..
I was wondering what she was looking at and barking (since it is the hantu month(Chinese calender))... and my mum came out and ask her.. and moved the table away..
Haha... My mum's daughter lar... She feeds her everyday...


MiMi used to show her teeth if we hold her food (in the attempt of trying to take her food away), but last Saturday when my parents was not at home, I was holding her food in the plastic and she gladly ate without making noise..


She only walks when she wants to pee, shit or eat...
Other than that, she will never move....


MiMi.... I really love her....
I wish she can live longer and longer...

Best shot of MiMi....

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We never know what will happen tomorrow....
Throw away what you hate....
Be happy today....

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Mum's uncle pass away today because of accident...
He was a healthy man yesterday..
Today he is gone....
Do good, think good.. be good....
May he Rest in Peace...

waiting, waiting and still waiting

I miss my bed....
Got up soooo early today....

Just imagine 3 days in a row I gotta wait....
Being a driver is bad....
Waiting for my bf...
yeah....
Even now, I am still waiting for him to finish his interview...

Assessment's after assessment's...
All this big companies expect you to be GOOD in IQ and EQ...
and i'm proud of my bf...
He seem to be doing good in all...

2nd interview, the manager said he did GOOD...
And he passed the TEST...
Bf said it was damn hard....

So looks like the manager has already approved him.. but waiting for his boss to say yes too....

Lets see what he tells me later when i meet him....

Looks like if all 3 company say yes to him, he will be having headache then...
Haha...

Nvm lar...
He will be clever enough to do the correct decision...

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Daddy/ Mummy my LOVE

Daddy/Mummy,
For all the times you hold my hand.. THANK YOU
For all the times you love me.. THANK YOU
For all the times you taught me how to read ABC.. THANK YOU
For all the times you send and fetch me home.. THANK YOU
For all the times you tell me what is right and wrong.. THANK YOU
For all the times you stand in front of me when I've got problem... THANK YOU
For all the times you say "it's okay, life goes on".. THANK YOU...

There is so many thank you to be said.... But dad & mum, I'm your daughter and i will fight with you like how a daughter will... and i will hold your hands like how i always do.. because you are my GREAT daddy/ mummy...

HOW A CHILD THINKS ABOUT HIS/HER FATHER AT DIFFERENT AGES:-

At 4 years
My daddy is great.

At 6 years
My daddy knows everybody.

At 10 Years
My daddy is good but is short tempered.

At 12 Years
My daddy was very nice to me when I was young.

At 14 Years
My daddy is getting fastidious.

A! t 16 Years
My daddy is not in line with the current times.

At 18 Years
My daddy is becoming increasingly cranky.

At 20 Years
Oh! Its becoming difficult to tolerate daddy. Wonder how Mother puts up with him.

At 25 Years
Daddy is objecting to everything.

At 30 Years
It's becoming difficult to manage my son. I was so scared of my father when I was young.

At 40 Years
Daddy brought me up with so much discipline. Even I should do the same.

At 45 Years
I am baffled as to how my daddy brought us up.

At 50 Years
My daddy faced so many hardships to bring us up. I am unable to manage A Single son. 

At 55 Years
My daddy was so far sighted and planned so many things for us. He is ONE OF HIS KIND and UNIQUE.

At 60 Years
MY DADDY IS GREAT.

THUS, it took 56 years to complete the cycle and come back to the 1st stage. 
Realize the true value of your parents before it's too late...


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My say - taken and re-wrote from daddy's e-mail...

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Why we never listen?

We always ask why we never listen to people we love..
Like- if he is your dad, you will always want to go against him and not listen to him..
If she is your mum, and she tell you something, you will always say NO and not listen..
If they are your siblings and they tell you don't do that mistake.. you say, "you are either too old, or too young to understand"...
If she is your girlfriend/wife, and she tells you please listen, you will not..
If he is your boyfriend/husband, he tells you it is dangerous, but you will still not listen..
WHY huh???

We tend to take all this people for granted because  you know that they love you so much that they will never leave you when you need them....
They will still hold your hand...
They will tell you I TOLD YOU SO...
They will tell you VERY GOOD..
They will say anything and everything but they will still be by your side...
No matter what mistake it is... they are the FIRST people in line that will be there for you...
You can say whatever you want...
You can say how much your dad says NO to you...
You can say how much your mum nags you...
You can say how much your siblings fight with you...
You can say how irritating your gf/bf is when they stop you from doing things that you want..
You can say how much you hate it that your wife/husband says I TOLD YOU SO...
But never say how much THEY DON'T LOVE YOU....
Because they love you more than anyone does...

A friend may come and go in your life....
If they stay... tell them how much it means to you to have them as a friend...
A girlfriend / boyfriend will also come and go..
But if they decide to stay CHERISH them....
Husband/ wife may be together.. may be divorced...
But of they decide to be with you forever...
LOVE them till you last breath...




Dad, if you are reading this... I just wanna say that I LOVE YOU.. you have been a great dad .. Remember the e-mail you sent me??? it is just so true.. but trust me... till today.. you may be a little TOO STRICT with this daughter of yours.. and i know it is for my own good...

Mum, thank you for being the 1st lady in my life... You are the greatest.. and I WILL NEVER BRING TROUBLE HOME.... because I LOVE YOU too much to hurt you..

Sisters and brother..... I LOVE YOU... although i fight and argue too much.. but you people are just so important to me....

Boyfriend... I've got so much to say.... but 1stly i'll say I LOVE YOU... 5 years is not short.. and you have been so good to me... i know i am a useless gf AT TIMES.. but trust me...I LOVE YOU.... Love you so much... and i'll tell you the rest when i see you...

I know i am stubborn and i never listen...But I LOVE all of you....


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My Say - i just copied and pasted it here from my other blog... =)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

More than words...

3 good video of more than words by 3 different singers...






Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Do we really need so much of protection???

I've been wondering so long about all this cars, especially the Chinese people's car..They got this ART on their number plate...
and it is always at the beginning and the end... 1 on each sides...

And my mum told me that it is some protection from Thailand...

I did not ask further because everyone would definitely want some god/spiritual protection...
But this car which was infront of me so many days ago made me OPEN my mouth BIG BIG...


Too many protection lar....
TOO MANY....
TOO MUCH...

Do we really need that much???
Wonder he got tattoo his whole body or not..

I was told by a relative whom had a tattoo from Thailand...
He said that, if the tattoo bengkak a little (can feel if touch) it means money gonna come in..
Wah seh... GENG....
If it is smooth on the skin means nothing...
WAH.... any1 got tattoo and have experienced this before??

Monday, August 2, 2010

Hot & Spicy

I'm so tired...
All i wanna do now is just close my eye and go to sleep..
But i can't do so..
I gotta look after my mum's office because she has gone out....
Last night was a hard 1....
I missed place my most important thing and that result to sleepless night..

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Have you tried the new HOT & SPICY CHICKEN NUGGET from  KFC???



This cost me RM 5.90... for 5 pieces....
(my eye is closing while i write this)... =(

This nugget, you gotta eat very fast in order to taste the spiciness.. 
Or not, it will just taste like normal nugget...

Ok... i cannot be judging about the nugget too much because if you are the kind who does not eat spicy food, then maybe this nugget is spicy enough for you...
Not for me....

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